dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
