I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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