I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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