Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
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I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize