Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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