We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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