I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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