any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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