Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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