Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
