***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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