dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
