Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
