I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
