You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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