but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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