apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize