i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
