We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
