Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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