Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
