It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
