I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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