he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize