So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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