She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
