youre lurking in front of me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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