do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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