awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
