this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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