we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
