The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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