You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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