I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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