real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
