i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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