walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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