I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
