Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
