We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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