im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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