Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
"it" just moved
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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