apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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