You made me cry and you don't even care
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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