I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize