I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
