it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
