I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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