sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
