Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
