I can text with my tongue
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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