I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
