I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize