I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
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Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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