She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
