Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
