Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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