Don't you send me to vm
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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