You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
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is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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