i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
