The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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