after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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