I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
