I hate your face
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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